Friday, July 25, 2014
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Poor Bedside Manners
This doctor I used to date on and off (mostly off) has horrible bedside manners.
Doc: What are you up to tonight? 8:52 PM
Me: At the hospital, my dad had a stroke 8:52 PM
Doc: I'm sorry. Must be upsetting to see. He can
recover some or all of it. Only time will tell, though... 9:07 PM
Me: Thank you. 9:11 PM
Doc: You're welcome. 9:11 PM
Doc: I still think about you. 9:11 PM
Me: Why? 9:12 PM
Doc: No other girl can turn me on like you... 9:12 PM
Doc: Something about your honesty on our first date. 9:13 PM
Doc: I just feel I can tell you about things that
others consider taboo. 9:14
PM
Doc: Getting hard just thinking about it now... 9:14 PM
Me: I am not in the mood to talk about this right
now 9:15 PM
Doc: I understand. I'm sorry. Best wishes to you and
your family 9:16 PM
Me: We can have a candid conversation when you are
back 9:16 PM
Doc: Looking forward to it... 9:16 PMWednesday, June 25, 2014
Hobbies
Perfect and I got in touch again, my friends and I recently found out (through a very in-depth facebook stalking) that Perfect has a girlfriend. We saw an album of him taking her to Per Se for her 30th birthday. This isn't a restaurant you take a normal date. This is a place where you take a person if you want to try ass fucking.
During some pillow talk, we talked about his relationship with his "ex"-girlfriend, how she doesn't appreciate how he has so many hobbies and don't prioritize her.
This is what my best friend have to say about that:
During some pillow talk, we talked about his relationship with his "ex"-girlfriend, how she doesn't appreciate how he has so many hobbies and don't prioritize her.
This is what my best friend have to say about that:
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Nubbin
This guy hit me up on CMB a while back. We've been chatting on and off, he seems like a very normal, vanilla Asian guy.
His positives:
- nice body, a bit too buff from doing crossfit daily
- nice car
- generally a nice guy, good earning potential. I think he is already a millionaire
- he's in finance, probably can give me some tips on future investments
- lives near me!!! 15 minute walk. Local booty.
Negatives:
- he wants kids, I think he's already got a fund for his kids education. This is really creepy
- he has a really ugly smile. It's a bit vomit inducing
- he is dull, not a lot of personality. Can't really hold a conversation
First date was fine. I could really take him or leave him. Guided by my horny {()}, we went out for a second date. He took me to this beer garden and it was aiiiight. Later on he spoiled me by getting me street meat. We took it back to my place to indulge in the lamb and eventually in each other.
We were getting hot and heavy on my fancy 250 tread count bed sheets. My hands slowly migrated south in between his pants and I felt a nubbin. I was curious at what that was. I asked myself ... Was it a mole? Was it a pimple? Words sounding very similar to "oh shit" escaped my mouth when I realized it was his dick. Might I emphasize that it was a fully erect nubbin.
At this point, I quickly evaluated how desperate I was. Keeping in mind I was still making out with this bloke.
He softly muttered "kiss it", and that's when my {()} suddenly created a vacuum seal and decided nothing was going to penetrate it that night. Not that his nubbin would've reached far.
After another minute of stifling my giggles and politly making out, I told him that he should leave as I need to wake up early to work. Forgetting the fact that I told him that I was working from home that week earlier in the evening.
He reluctantly got dressed and left. He texted me the day after "how was working from home" and then a week later "how's your day going?"
NO THANK YOU.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
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