Pot calling the kettle black

A guy from college came to visit me over the weekend. I took his virginity so I feel like he is still kind of hung up on me. 

His is a big fella, although I have a feeling that he think he is still average. He still wears a size 32 pants but that's because he likes to tie it right below his 7 month pregnant belly. 

I sometimes have a feeling that he can't even see his penis when he pees. Last night we spend a few hours going through tinder on his phone. I finally know why I am single. Women in NY are just so fucking hot! 

Anyway, he keeps left swiping semi chubby women. 

Me: why are you left swiping these women?

Him: she's fat 

Me: she's okay! Not fat and the pot shouldn't call the kettle black.

Him: why do you mean?

Me: nevermind...

Later saw his Okcupid profile. His body type was listed as "Average" 

Lol! Maybe if the population was sumo wrestlers! 

High Pitched

Met a guy Tinder. His profile claimed that he is the McDonald's bathroom senior manager. That quickly turned me on. Senior manager!

We had great silly banter over text. We agreed that we should make out when we first meet. 

Just finished the date with him. Never met a straight guy who has a higher pitch than me. He was also a mediocre kisser and moaned a lot during the kiss. I told him to stop making noises, but he said since I had an ear congestion, I shouldn't be able to hear it anyway.

Kinda wanted to bounce after the kiss, but figured since I traveled for this lame ass date, might as well enjoy a drink. 

I did enjoyed the drink, but he sucked. On to the next one.