Trapped in dicksand

A few weeks ago, I met a guy from tinder, his dick was so beautiful, sucking it is like appreciating art. It was just the right height and girth. Dicksand is his name, dick so good that it sucks me in and it's impossible to get out. 

He is also an awesome guy, we had insane chemistry in and out of the bedroom. He went to Dominican Republic for a weekend and it's also the same weekend I was in Vegas. We committed to seeing each other on the Saturday when I get back. So to my display, when I hit him up on Thursday and I get this response: 

Took the high road and said this "Okay, I understand. I hope it goes well with her. I will pass on Saturday, it may be a little awkward. Take care. " 

Translation: No hanky panky  = goodbye 

At least I have hitachi magic Wang 

Bald men

This guy is hot, but as I scroll back and forth through the pics, I noticed that he is always wearing a hat. Even that hoodie one... Deceptive. So I flat out asked if he was bald. 

He blocked me. 

I can be blunt too!

Why does everyone want to have coffee dates?!?

Rare Gems

Once in a blue moon, when the stars align, I do have good some may say even amazing sex. But moments like those are rare and will be forever cherished during my masturbation sessions. 

Mythical creatures

Usually mythical creatures are good things, like unicorns and tooth fairies. Once in a while it can be a ogar. And a black man with a small dick is indeed a mythical creature. What are the odds? I just bought powerball. Think my luck will balance out.

Pot calling the kettle black

A guy from college came to visit me over the weekend. I took his virginity so I feel like he is still kind of hung up on me. 

His is a big fella, although I have a feeling that he think he is still average. He still wears a size 32 pants but that's because he likes to tie it right below his 7 month pregnant belly. 

I sometimes have a feeling that he can't even see his penis when he pees. Last night we spend a few hours going through tinder on his phone. I finally know why I am single. Women in NY are just so fucking hot! 

Anyway, he keeps left swiping semi chubby women. 

Me: why are you left swiping these women?

Him: she's fat 

Me: she's okay! Not fat and the pot shouldn't call the kettle black.

Him: why do you mean?

Me: nevermind...

Later saw his Okcupid profile. His body type was listed as "Average" 

Lol! Maybe if the population was sumo wrestlers!